If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
friend: there's nothing worse than death
me: final seasons
me: post-concert depression
me: when there's no food
me: fictional characters dying
me: hipsters blogs
me: your crush asks someone else out
me: no wi-fi
me: auto play on blogs
me: when porn appears on your dash while someone is behind you
youwishangelfish: Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
When guys wear that one cologne where all you want...
call my dick gatsby bc its great
i wanna watch a scary movie with you and we get so scared we accidently end up having sex somehow
Plot twist: I'm not fat. I'm just easy to see.